Dear Kobe,
I’ve been trying to find the words to say to even attempt to come close to showing and explaining what you’ve done for me and what you’ve meant to me. My entire life, my entire being, every part of me is in shambles behind this. What am I supposed to do without you?
I’ve never felt this level of hurt and pain in my life, no loss has affected me in this way, my Grandparents and Brother included. My Mom keeps telling me to pray, and even that’s been a struggle; praying to God knowing I probably gave you more attention than I should’ve, knowing I cared about you more than I should have… Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal but this void, this feeling has me paralyzed.
I practiced that turn-around fade-away jumper for hours – day in, day out – from sunrise to sunset… sometimes even at night, turning my Mom’s car headlights on while I shot in the backyard. I did it cause you did it; to have a move in my arsenal that Randy and Noel couldn’t stop. I spent countless hours practicing to be like you, even some days faking sick so I could practice alone and have an advantage while Randy, John, Noel, and Alberto played No Mercy and GoldenEye.
Pump fakes, fist pumps, and Mamba face was like… breathing. It was a part of me. I celebrated your good times and mourned your losses. Wins and championships were like graduations and your losses were like funerals, making me dread going to school the next day knowing my peers would give me hell, sometimes even begging my Mom and Dad to let me stay home.
I liked basketball because of MJ and because I was good at it, but I fell in love with it because of you. Your commitment to improving, working, studying, and goal of excellence is unmatched. We grew up together, but I followed in your footsteps. Everything about you was elevated compared to the next player; compared to the next man. Beyond the basketball court, you played soccer – the world’s sport. You were cultured – you spoke other languages like a native – Italian, Spanish, Slovenian. You inspire me in a way that transcends sports, I apply the mindset you demonstrated to my everyday life, and it continues to be a gift on the days that I feel unmotivated. I have goals I want to achieve and I know if I work twice as hard as you did, I’m guaranteed to achieve them. Mamba Mentality was always about being and beating the best version of yourself. It wasn’t about competing with anybody else. On and off the court, you were never concerned about what others thought. Maybe there were some flaws in that, but you always ended up considering the perspective of others and I will too. You leave behind a legacy of relentless pursuit that will inspire athletes for years to come.
The most indelible impression left on me was to love as hard as I play. The way you loved Vanessa and the girls, especially Gianna, was an example of how your work ethic extended beyond the court. I will make you proud.
I’ve argued about you, analyzed your game, and mirrored so many parts of my life after yours. I’ve spent an insane amount of nights around watching you play in person and on TV; I’ve spent a Wall Street worker’s salary on your shoes, jerseys, and apparel. I’ve made so many friends and had friends turn into family over conversations about you, and built bonds over our love and passion for you. Each and every single one of them is hurting behind this major loss but appreciate one another and the bond that we have formed over you, cherishing each other and every memory we created.
I’m destroyed and broken. I was supposed to see you at the Hall of Fame ceremony, I was supposed to be at a table with you, discussing and planning your next sneaker rollout and all the colorways to go with it, but God decided he needed you for his league up in Heaven.
In my eyes, you are the greatest, and I truly believe God sent you to me so on days when reading the Bible wasn’t enough or when praying wasn’t enough to get me through something, I’d have someone on Earth to pull motivation and strength from to continue to carry on. You inspired a little boy from Pleasantville to rise to the challenge, outwork those around him, set his goals high, and be the absolute best that he can be and I am forever grateful for that.
I will never forget you or forget what you mean to me, I will make sure your name and your purpose live on through me and my family. I am praying for your family, your wife, and kids as they go through this extremely difficult time. And I pray that God met you and your daughter at the doors of Heaven.
“Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord for hence now and forevermore they rest from the labor but their works follow them.” All that you were working and have worked is following you into the presence of God, and we are remembering it and celebrating it here.
Mamba Mentality has taken on a whole new meaning. Thank you for everything.
I love you,
Darryl
