There is nothing going on right now. It feels like there’s a million things going on, but really, there’s nothing going on. By this point in the lockdown, we’ve watched the tv, we’ve mastered the bread baking, and we’ve walked our neighborhoods hundreds of times. We’re all looking for something new and for most of us, that something new doesn’t even have to be good, it just has to not be the same things we’ve been doing for the last month and a half. If you’re looking for something new, we’d be remiss not to mention that Future just dropped an album and we just dropped some new commentary on Palace’s Summer 2020 Product descriptions.
Most brands combine their spring and summer offerings but like the trailblazers and trendsetters that Palace are, they do things differently, splitting up their spring and summer collections. For fans of the brand, that means two lookbooks, two ranges, and a whole lot more product descriptions. This season’s product descriptions maintain the absurdity of the past, delivering timely commentary on current events on top of their usual silliness. So that you don’t have to, we’ve combed through the more than 100 product descriptions released as a part of the Summer 2020 range and listed out our favorites. Scroll down for a little bit of light humor, courtesy of your favorite London skate brand.
Palace Open Energy Swim Shorts
Everyday we are reminded that we all lived the same childhoods. I had a flashback to middle school the second I read this. I wonder if the Palace Product Description Guy also had Cookie Monster Snapbacks at his school?
Jeanius Crew
After some less-than-extensive Googling, it doesn’t look like there’s a TV show called The Living Dead. I think they’re talking about The Walking Dead. If so, that absolutely checks out, that show is agonizing to watch. Shout out to Glenn though. Glenn was tight. I was 3/10 sad when I found out he died on Twitter.
Palace Footie Jersey
This one is relatable but realistically what else would I be doing tonight if I weren’t watching someone on IG Live getting zooted and booted?
Palace Skull Knit
This is also my face 10 hours deep into describing Palace product descriptions.
Palace Tri-Tex Hood
I’m going to try my absolute hardest to eat three lunches and not fall asleep during a Zoom call today. Thoughts and prayers please.
Pipeline Short
This shouldn’t need to be said but apparently ABSOLUTELY NEEDS TO BE SAID. Please wear clothes that fit. At least in public. Please. Palace Skateboards should not have to break this news to you but this is the broken state of affairs we live in. Nobody wants to see that.
Palace Tri-Pumping Hood
Fair and honest point Mr. Palace Product Description Guy. If I do one a minute, it will still take 10 minutes. So um… you get the point. Sorry.
Handy T-Shirt
We all know a person who this is describing. If you’re struggling to place it, imagine your friend most like Kevin from The Office. Maybe don’t buy this for them though, it’ll probably be somewhat offensive.
Peace Pocket T-Shirt
Currently searching Etsy now for a hand painted “Peace, Love, and Online Shopping” to go above my fireplace in case I can one day afford a house.
Palace Globlerone T-Shirt
Palace giving a subtle shout out to Netflix anime Neo Yokio by Jaden Smith and Ezra Koenig is very on brand for 2020. Sometimes these product descriptions foreshadow collaborations or future items. For instance, there is probably a Palace Sofa coming out soon and I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw a Palace x Neo Yokio collab in the future.
